SPL -- Suspicious Persons List

Digitaltronics Corporation V.P of Human Relations: "Joe, thanks for coming
in this morning. I'm sure you're busy, so I'll make this as short as
possible. OK with you?"

Joseph Shlubsky, Programmer: "Uh, sure." <nervously>

Digitaltronics: "Joe, we have a problem. We understand that on your last
two business trips you've been flagged for Special Processing at airport
security. We checked, and it seems you're on the Suspicious Persons List.
As you know, this causes problems for your fellow travellers (no pun
intended, eh Joe <laughs>). And, Joe, it undermines the corporate image for
one of our people to be on the SPL. I'm sure you see our problem?"

JS: "Uh...."

Digitaltronics: "Joe, we're not sure what you've been doing to get yourself
put on the SPl, and we're forbidden by the Fairness in Employment Act from
even asking you about your interests and affiliations, but we really can't
have representatives of Digitaltronics being pulled aside for SPL
processing, now can we?"

JS: "But I told them I was only carrying a briefcase, and that they could
search it all they wanted to, and--"

Digitaltronics: "Joe, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to let you go. You
know how these things are. Nothing can be done. Not our decision, when you
think about it. The government has their ideas of who should be on the
Suspicious Persons List, and there's just nothing we can do about it. We
just can't have our corporate image linked to persons on the SPL. Now, Joe,
you'll get a generous 6 weeks of severance pay, and Daphne will assist you
with your outplacement processing. Of course, Joe, you will have to go
through an inspection every morning until you're fully processed...there's
that SPL matter, you know." <laughs>

JS: "Uh..."

On Mon, 9 Sep 1996, Timothy C. May wrote:

> Digitaltronics Corporation V.P of Human Relations: "Joe, thanks for coming
> in this morning. I'm sure you're busy, so I'll make this as short as
> possible. OK with you?"
> Suspicious Persons List, and there's just nothing we can do about it. We
> just can't have our corporate image linked to persons on the SPL. Now, Joe,
> you'll get a generous 6 weeks of severance pay, and Daphne will assist you
> with your outplacement processing. Of course, Joe, you will have to go
> through an inspection every morning until you're fully processed...there's
> that SPL matter, you know." <laughs>
> JS: "Uh..."

     In this case I wouldn't bother with Mr. Bell's solution. 

Petro, Christopher C.
petro@suba.com <prefered for any non-list stuff>
snow@smoke.suba.com

snow <snow@smoke.suba.com> writes:

> On Mon, 9 Sep 1996, Timothy C. May wrote:
>
> > Digitaltronics Corporation V.P of Human Relations: "Joe, thanks for coming
> > in this morning. I'm sure you're busy, so I'll make this as short as
> > possible. OK with you?"
> > Suspicious Persons List, and there's just nothing we can do about it. We
> > just can't have our corporate image linked to persons on the SPL. Now, Joe,
> > you'll get a generous 6 weeks of severance pay, and Daphne will assist you
> > with your outplacement processing. Of course, Joe, you will have to go
> > through an inspection every morning until you're fully processed...there's
> > that SPL matter, you know." <laughs>
> > JS: "Uh..."
>
>      In this case I wouldn't bother with Mr. Bell's solution.

This reminds me of a real story when an h.r. person walked in on some
bank employee and told her than she was being laid off. "And by the way
the no-fee bank account you had as an employee is closed, so here's an
application you have to feel for a regular account with us." He got injured.

---

Dr.Dimitri Vulis KOTM
Brighton Beach Boardwalk BBS, Forest Hills, N.Y.: +1-718-261-2013, 14.4Kbps