Re: Airport security [no such thing]

At 08:04 PM 1/17/97 EST, Dr.Dimitri Vulis wrote:
>snow <snow@smoke.suba.com> writes:
>
>> > I say we make people fly naked and ship their stuff via UPS ;).
>>
>>     >>shudder<<
>>
>>     No!. A clear case of the cure being worse than the disease...
>
>Why. it might be fun - those long flight can be so boring with clothes on...
>
Wouldn't work.  A sworn member of the holy order of the restitution for the
crimes of my enemies, has an explosive device buried within h[is/er] bowels.
When (s)he goes up, alone, (s)he will take 100+ enemies with h[im/er].  Of
course (s)he has to be willing to die, or be duped into thinking that (s)he
really has appendicitis.  So a courier would still be easy to find.
Or, a cancer infected member of said religious cult, knowing that (s)he will
soon die anyway, and probably atone for h[is/er] many sins, ((s)he hasn't
really done anything rightous, like kill one of the enemy), chooses to have
h[is/er] cancerous bowels, up to the stomache, removed, and replaced with a
bomb.  (s)he then heals up a little while, being fed intraveinously, until
the time of h[is/er] atonement.  A makeup artist erases the signs of disease
that (s)he carries and a large dose of pain killer is given to h[im/er] to
take right before entering the airport.  (s)he dies knowing that (s)he is
going straight past heaven to an even higher level.

What started this thread off was Lucky Green's observation of the beerkegs
getting through the security checkpoints at the Oakland Airport.

Just yesterday I flew from Seattle's Sea-Tac Airport to Oakland, on 
Southwest Airlines.  My partner and I were (we thought) checking in just
in time to  be in the second boarding group. (Explanation of Southwest's
lo-tech allocation of seat choice elided).  An unacompanied woman was
the next person ahead of us in the line.

She presented the gate agent with *four* tickets and *four* IDs.  "Where
are these other people?" the agent asked.  "They're parking the car,"
said the traveler.  The agent gave her all four boarding passes; and my
companion and I were bumped to the third boarding group.

The woman in front of us was white and middle-class-looking, traveling
with what appeared to be her family.  One wonders what would have
happened were she a swarthy man wearing robes and a burnoose.  Or if she
were just wearing shabby clothes. 


-- 
Alan Bostick               | To achieve harmony in bad taste is the height
mailto:abostick@netcom.com | of elegance.
news:alt.grelb             |      Jean Genet
http://www.alumni.caltech.edu/~abostick