The World's Fastest Crypto Teacher

Alexis wrote:
> Is there anybody that can tutor me how to hack, crack, phrank, and 
> cryptomography ( i'm not sure i speel that last part correctly.
> I would like to get some help, please email me back ASAP thank you so 
> very much

Alexis,
  I would be happy to teach you everything I know about cryptography.
  ...uuhhh...
  There, that didn't take long.
  Any questions?

TruthMonger