Microsoft

I'd always wondered how Bill Gates could shit with that pole so far up his ass. 
Then I realized: The pole is too long to be completely embedded in his ass and 
he uses the other half of it to rape computer users everywhere on a regular 
basis. And since the pole is crammed in his ass he can't shit, so he just 
retains his shit, making him incredibly anal retentive. I'm sure he enjoys
this.